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| So. . .I took a good 1 1/2 study break (after 3 hours of straight studying. . .okay, not QUITE straight studying. . .). I got pics from the roommates (all of the colored pics we took; now we're waiting for our black and whites to develop! hehe), chatted a little, picked out some pics that Nate took randomly w/ Noel's camera (so he's one of my heroes when it comes to photography. . .he's pretty good! lol), organized those in the photo album to take w/ me to San Antonio to show the family, played w/ my fishie, cleaned the living room and put my bed back together (it falls apart randomly. . .), and then just ended up packing up some stuff. I'm going to pack even more tomorrow and head towards storage w/ whatever I've packed so far. *sigh* I HATE packing, so for those of you who like it and want to volunteer to help. . .lol
But at least it's not bad, since I still had stuff in storage that I didn't even take out; that and I'm purging some stuff and throwing it out, giving it to the girls (such as school stuff or arts and crafts) or giving it to Goodwill to be dropped off on Friday afternoon.
So. . .that's it. I'm about to try to find all the resources I used for the paper in order to get that ready to be turned in tomorrow (and I need to finish my annotated bibliography for that) and then try to finish and type up all the lesson plans (icky. . .).
So there ya have it. It's about 3:15 am and still going, although tired and probably might take a small nap tomorrow. . .although I highly doubt that, since I need to pack (I got an e-mail from the Tackers concerning this. . .lol).
So, I'll see y'all on Wednesday at church!! | | |
| So today has been one of those start off bad but ends up amazingly wonderful! lol
Still not able to get my tire (can't afford it), but that's okay. I had Nate come over and put my spare on that way I can hopefully get my tire patched, if at all possible, for cheaper than getting a brand new tire. After that, made him some tea and just kinda relaxed and ate.
Girls came in, Nate left, and ended up spending an amazing time with Marcie talking while Noel was in the shower/art building. Told her my deepest, darkest secret! lol I can't believe both of them knew who my crush was!!! aagghhh!!!!!!!! I have never blushed so deeply EVER, and I was crying!! seriously (not like tears tears, but watery eyes because I was so embarrassed!! lol). I think I'm blushing again thinking about it! lol
So, after that, all 3 of us ended up cooking together, getting ready for the Hispanos Unidos lunch tomorrow (Noel and I both made green chicken enchiladas, and I made Mexican rice-traditional, mind you, and am in the process of making beans). So we got a lot accomplished.
Add to all of that that the message tonight at church was amazing (and I was able to go!! woohoo). Definitely a good reminder to praise my way through all the junk and the things that God is allowing in my life. I forgot that for a moment and wallowed in my own self-pity stench.
So, hope and joy are restored, and I'm thrilled and tired all at once! lol God is good. | | |
| Can I say that this has been the greatest time of discouragement I've been in in awhile? Oh, Abba, it hurts so much. Coming to a place of brokenness, realizing the things that He gave me to prevent this, yet I squandered them uselessly.
Oh, my heart hurts so much right now. My spirit hurts. I admit. . .I'm so broken right now. So much sadness pervades my heart. I feel like a woman at the wailing wall (not that women are allowed there). . .
I don't think I've cried this much in awhile. All I want is for someone to hold me and say it's going to be okay. I don't want cute, pert answers. I don't want Christian-niceties. I just want someone to tell me it's okay; forget that, I just want someone to hold me really tight while I cry my heart out. That's it. | | |
| so today has been a crap day. a general icky, icky, icky day.
I finally came back from studying w/ Nate in the art building at around 5:35am (yes, this morning, and he let me into the building at abt. 11pm, so I was studying for awhile). He worked on his project, I worked on biology. Fun times! lol
So. . .did that, came back, slept for a few hours, got up, went to class, came back, went to the public library, completely lost track of time and forgot I was supposed to meet w/ Debbie & Becca @ 3. . .
came back from the library @ 5:15, scrambled to get ready for work, ate a couple of crackers (all I've eaten all day at that moment, mind you-this has significance later in my day), went to work
was bored out of my mind, forgot my research I was going to use to finish writing my paper, ended up doing training that all the cashiers have to do (yuck) due to stuff in the store/company being down, came home and discovered that my tire was low
called Nate to see if he had a tire gauge (he did). He dropped it off, told me how to use it, and left to finish his poster and go to bed (poor guy, only like an hour of sleep, if that).
put the tire guage on like he showed me. . .AND AIR LEAKED OUT. It made it worse. yes, oh boy. . .
so went to the gas station, attempted to put air in my tire with my last 50cents. It didn't work! So me, sitting in the parking lot of the Shell gas station, crying tears of frustration. . .
not a good day
so went back home, borrowed $1 of quarters from Linda, went back to the gas station, it worked finally (after I figured out I used the wrong end/part of the stupid air/water tanky thing), drove around the block to make sure it worked.
came back home, noel asked me if I was able to get it (i text messaged her while i sat crying in the parking lot), we looked at my tire and discovered there was a leak.
so i stood there, crying tears of frustration, and trying to figure out how i was going to get a new tire when i have no money, my paycheck will be low, i have to make an important payment or serious consequences will be brought upon my head, need to pay rent and Noel for internet. . .
yeah.
not
a
good
day
... | | |
| He has been utterly amazing to me this weekend. He reminded me that He still reigns over EVERYTHING in my life! lol It's been amazing just sitting back and "basking" in His presence and just. . .well. . .relaxing. Pastor Jimmy was talking about how sometimes we feel like that guy did in that video clip, stressed out and more stressed. That's the way I've been feeling lately. School, work, things do, projects, papers, ministry. . .
Sometimes I forget that it's okay to say that now isn't a good time to talk, that now I'm going to go and play, that now I'm going to be in the presence of God. Sometimes I forget that I need to spend time with Him, just me and Him, fully and completely to be truly at rest and at peace.
This weekend was that time. I played, I studied (willingly, I might add! lol), and I went to the park and tanned. It's been amazing, wonderful, relaxing, and now I'm ready to do what needs to get done. *happy sigh and grin*
:) I love that we smile and bask in each other's presence. Today He gave me a picture during worship. (I've been reading Captivating, so it's been awesome learning what it means to be pursued by Him.) Anywho, I was in this gorgeous gown, with my hair done up and curling around my face softly. I was sitting down at a table, alone, just watching all the other dancers sweep across the dance floor. So here comes Jesus, dressed to the nines (technically 10s, since, ya know, He is God. . .) and asked for my hand in order to dance. So, I placed my hand (gloved, by the way! lol) in His and He just swept me across the dance floor, all the time starring into each other's eyes and just Him smiling down at me softly. (Yes, this may seem sappy to some, but let me tell ya. . .lol) He reminded me that my romance with Him isn't over by any means, that there are still areas of my heart that I need to give to Him, trust Him with. He reminded me that He's still wooing me, that He's in full and passionate love with me. Makes me happy and giggly! (I feel like a big flirt!! lol)
That's it, my friends. Isn't He amazing?!?! | | |
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